When I watch a good romance or read a sweet story it reminds me of when I first met and dated my husband. I get nostalgic for what seems like such a long time ago.
In the meeting/ dating world there is still the busyness of life but most free time is spent getting to know each other, BE together, talk about life, scrounging up change to do something even when money is tight.
Dating moves to engagement and the excitement of all to come. The adventures you’ll have. The children born.
Then suddenly time is flying with marriage, work, children, home ownership, and all free time seems to go toward getting stuff done. Oil to be changed, lawn to be mowed, groceries to be bought, side jobs to help pay for Christmas, kids to play with, feed, clothe and the tiredness… oh the tiredness!
Life becomes like clockwork. Instead of spending evenings at the movies or out laughing over a cup of coffee, they are spent tucking little boys into bed and fighting off nausea from all day morning sickness while ignoring the pile of laundry needing to be folded.
When I let myself “go there” I start to miss those days gone by because all those firsts were “magical.” The first date, the first time he reached over and grabbed my hand during a movie, the first hug, the first kiss. Dancing together. Laughing together. Making so many memories as the start and foundation of our relationship.
I easily get caught up remembering the good but somehow forget the difficulties. When I turned him down not once but twice when he asked me to be his girlfriend. When I didn’t feel important to him and we broke up for 4 days because I didn’t tell him what was wrong. When we struggled through keeping ourselves for marriage when it was so fun to make out. The tears we cried in difficult situations.
That time of dating, as wonderful as it was, was hard. Dating is a time of the unsure. Unsure if the other person likes us as much as we like them. Unsure if we are a good match. Fear of the unknown!
Now though, I realize how much safer and secure I feel. I love my husband so much more as we’ve grown together as a couple. He is such a great provider and father to our boys and it proves to me that I married a wonderful man! Marriage for me is a much safer place. I have far less doubts and many more memories to cherish.
Last night I laid on the couch with an upset stomach, the boys were in bed and we watched a movie while my husband sat on the floor teaching himself to knit and it didn’t seem that special.
But today as I once again reflect upon our life together I think about the future… when our kids are grown and gone, the happiness and hardships we will experience over the coming years, aging, the changes to come, and I realize how one day I will look upon these years as the magical ones too…
A night when we were still young (not yet 30), our two healthy, happy boys tucked cozily into bed, in the home we own, watching a movie, talking about life, resting because I’m blessed with another baby boy in my womb, my hardworking husband taking the time to learn how to knit. Such a simple night together but such a special one at that!
“…the things we do together don’t have to be particularly meaningful or exalted to be special.” – Katrina Kenison