Seeing the Special in Life

When I watch a good romance or read a sweet story it reminds me of when I first met and dated my husband. I get nostalgic for what seems like such a long time ago.


In the meeting/ dating world there is still the busyness of life but most free time is spent getting to know each other, BE together, talk about life, scrounging up change to do something even when money is tight.

Dating moves to engagement and the excitement of all to come. The adventures you’ll have. The children born.

Then suddenly time is flying with marriage, work, children, home ownership, and all free time seems to go toward getting stuff done. Oil to be changed, lawn to be mowed, groceries to be bought, side jobs to help pay for Christmas, kids to play with, feed, clothe and the tiredness… oh the tiredness!

Life becomes like clockwork. Instead of spending evenings at the movies or out laughing over a cup of coffee, they are spent tucking little boys into bed and fighting off nausea from all day morning sickness while ignoring the pile of laundry needing to be folded.

Date 2

When I let myself “go there” I start to miss those days gone by because all those firsts were “magical.” The first date, the first time he reached over and grabbed my hand during a movie, the first hug, the first kiss. Dancing together. Laughing together. Making so many memories as the start and foundation of our relationship.

I easily get caught up remembering the good but somehow forget the difficulties. When I turned him down not once but twice when he asked me to be his girlfriend. When I didn’t feel important to him and we broke up for 4 days because I didn’t tell him what was wrong. When we struggled through keeping ourselves for marriage when it was so fun to make out. The tears we cried in difficult situations.

That time of dating, as wonderful as it was, was hard. Dating is a time of the unsure. Unsure if the other person likes us as much as we like them. Unsure if we are a good match. Fear of the unknown!

Now though, I realize how much safer and secure I feel. I love my husband so much more as we’ve grown together as a couple. He is such a great provider and father to our boys and it proves to me that I married a wonderful man!  Marriage for me is a much safer place. I have far less doubts and many more memories to cherish.

Date 3

Last night I laid on the couch with an upset stomach, the boys were in bed and we watched a movie while my husband sat on the floor teaching himself to knit and it didn’t seem that special.

But today as I once again reflect upon our life together I think about the future… when our kids are grown and gone, the happiness and hardships we will experience over the coming years, aging, the changes to come, and I realize how one day I will look upon these years as the magical ones too…


A night when we were still young (not yet 30), our two healthy, happy boys tucked cozily into bed, in the home we own, watching a movie, talking about life, resting because I’m blessed with another baby boy in my womb, my hardworking husband taking the time to learn how to knit. Such a simple night together but such a special one at that!

“…the things we do together don’t have to be particularly meaningful or exalted to be special.” – Katrina Kenison

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

I am happy to say we are expecting the arrival of baby #3 on the tentative due date of April 2nd.

As exciting as it is I have had a completely opposite pregnancy than I had with my boys (fingers crossed for a girl but will be just as thrilled with another boy)… nausea, vomiting, heartburn and exhaustion…topped with two adorable and energetic 3 and 1 year olds.

It has been HARD getting myself to make dinner or fold laundry let alone write on this blog. I do enjoy writing though and hope, as I hit my 17 week mark tomorrow, that this “all day” morning sickness fades away SOON.

I started working on the post a month or two ago so it’s given me an easy post for today… as well as reminding me Jeffrey needs a haircut – his hair has definitely grown since I took these photos.

I thought I would share a yummy and HEALTHY treat my mom came up with. I planned to freeze the extras only there ended up being no extras after we ate them all…

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On special Grandma weekends Jeffrey stays at MeMa’s and they came up with this excellent Banana Chocolate Chip Muffin. I was so impressed! I love treats and the thought of whole wheat goodies just doesn’t compare to white flour goodies… but these I LOVE!

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Nice and thick… filled with chocolate chips and walnuts…

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Getting our muffin tin ready with a chin showing traces of the chocolate chips he snuck (the best part of baking)…


Jack may have had a few too… he had the hard work of looking cute and stacking tuna cans…


Filled just so and ready for the oven…DSC_0955 (2)

And fresh out of the oven…

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Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

1-1/2 cup whole wheat flour
2 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup banana
1 cup oatmeal
1/2 cup honey
1 egg
1/2 cup milk
1/3 cup oil
3/4 cup chocolate chips
walnuts (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix dry ingredients together. Mix wet ingredients. Combine. Add chocolate chips and walnuts. Pour into greased muffin tins or use cupcake liners as I did. Bake for 15-18 minutes.



National Corn Fritter Day


The boys and I figured it was about time we celebrated a holiday, lucky for us it was National Corn Fritter Day – something new to try.


This boy is a ball of energy and always so excited to help me cook but as soon as it’s picture time I get this bored expression… hmm…


Thankfully Jack helped me out – we all need a good smile to make our day!


Frying up some corn fritters – the ones I baked didn’t turn out so fried they stay.


Look at this crispy beauty!


Jeffrey really liked them but of course gave me a non-committal face…


And Jack refused to eat anything but Mango so maybe it’s just me who likes to try new things?

I loved mine with avocado. I bet sour cream would taste great too!


Corn Fritters
Adapted from

  1. Boil corn for 3 minutes. Remove corn and set aside.
  2. Put eggs, salt and pepper in a bowl and beat.
  3. Add flour and baking powder, whisk until smooth.
  4. Add corn and cheese.
  5. Stir.
  6. Put butter and oil in fry pan. Heat until bubbly over medium heat.
  7. Drop corn mixture in spoonful lots into fry pan.
  8. When golden turn and cook other side.
  9. Drain on absorbent paper and serve.

Dear Little Boy

Dear Little Boy I love So much,


You are taking a morning nap as I sit here writing my apology.

I have already yelled enough by 10am to last us for the week.

I had a full nights sleep, breakfast, I exercised, I prayed, read my Bible, my house is decently clean, the sun is shining, I’m not mad at anyone (except now myself) – this day that should have been fun and joyous has already been ruined (up to this point) as I sit here with tears in my eyes realizing how I’ve let you down again.

I am so sorry honey.

I let you down when I am impatient with my 10 year old for doing something wrong but you’re only 3!

I let you down when I stop you from messing up your little brother’s toys but don’t do the same for you when you’re trying to build a train track and they keep getting pulled apart.

I let you down when the combination of your tiredness and need for cuddles cause you to be naughty but all I can see is the naughty.

I let you down when I hug and kiss you less because I’m so frustrated with you.

I let you down every time I use harsh words and am quick to yell.

Today I have let you down repeatedly but I want you to know I won’t give up. This is not who I want to be. I don’t enjoy these faults. I don’t like to make you sad.

I can’t suddenly be a different person but I will never stop working toward being a better me, a better Mommy.

I will not give up fighting to be the person I need and want to be. To respond with more patience and love so you can grow up having learned a better way to express your anger.

You are my boy and I adore you. I will always say sorry when I’ve done wrong and fight to be the best Mommy I can be, to raise you to be a good man just like you are a GOOD boy!

Love Mommy

“…when we are fully engaged in parenting regardless of how imperfect, vulnerable, and messy it is, we are creating something sacred.” – Jimmy Grace

Daring Greatly

“Nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as believing that I am standing on the outside of my life looking in and wondering what it would be like if I had the courage to show up and let myself be seen.”Brené Brown

When we step outside of our comfort zone is when the magic happens and we are able to dare greatly!

This is how I imagine my life – just a little too uncomfortable with myself to experience the magic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m crazy blessed and happy BUT I sure need to loosen up a bit a lot!

This afternoon, as I was thinking of who I want to be as a person, I looked up and saw Brené Brown’s book on vulnerability, Daring Greatly. Suddenly, the title had a whole new meaning to me.

That’s the kind of woman I want to be – I want to Dare Greatly – not only in vulnerability but in all areas of my life. I want to move out of my comfort zone and start taking the steps I need to become the person I want to be!

I always doubt. Am always unsure. Can’t quite wrap my mind around any direction or path I am supposed to be taking. In limbo is a good description of how I perceive myself as a person.

I dwell so much on what other people think of me. Do they like my writing? My art? Me? I always have guilt and get so uptight and stressed I unconsciously clench my teeth until my head hurts and my back is a bunch of painful knots.

The constant inner reflection of guilt, awkwardness, being scared, etc. is not the person I want to be. I want to embrace myself as I am, put all these fears on the shelf and be brave instead.

I want to Dare Greatly!

I want to call more and text less (I’ve always thought it was awkward to talk on the phone so I tend to avoid it).

I want to be a good friend even when I’m unsure where our relationship stands.

I want to do art whether I or anyone else think it’s beautiful or not.

I want to get out and water my garden even though my natural inclination is to let Caleb do it.

I want to eat healthy because I know I am capable! I know how to cook which solves a lot of problems.

I want to be active! I rode my bike across the U.S. and summited Mt. Hood so I know I am fully capable of pushing myself hard – even if it’s to get off my bum and take a walk.

I want to encourage other people with their goals and help them when I can.

I want to create the feeling of home no matter where we live.

I want to volunteer somewhere and serve.

I want to find God’s purpose for my life.

I want to be a better wife and mother.

I want to be more generous.

I want to be more loving and patient.

I want to laugh more and stress less.

These are all attributes I want my children to have – but how will they learn if I don’t teach them.


“…who we are and how we engage with the world are much stronger predictors of how our children will do than what we know about parenting.” Brené Brown.

I want to be an example to my sons so they too can lead a good life. I want to LIVE while I’m alive because there are so many who don’t get this opportunity.

I need to get out of the rut I am stuck in and stop dwelling on what I can’t do… and JUST DO what I can so I can BE who I want.

If I Want To Be, I Have To Do

No one changes without effort. So I choose to Dare Greatly.

“…who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…” -Theodore Roosevelt

Being Intentional: Sleep


Bet you haven’t said that before… ha!

This is my daily mantra – maybe even my hourly one.

The problem is as soon as my boys are in bed I get a second wind. I am FREE! To read, to write, to watch a movie, play a board game, to clean in peace (OK this is one is a lie).

Then when I start to fade I’m practically taping my eyelids open so I can finish the last page 200 pages of whatever book I’m reading.

If only my body stored sleep reserves like it does fat, I'd be sorted! (Or maybe not as it's 1am and I'm on Pinterest instead of in bed asleep, hmmm)

According to my Fitbit, my average night of sleep is 4 hours 59 minutes to about 6 hours. That’s not good…

I am more irritable, fatigued and discouraged just about every day following a too late night (99% of the time). Then I don’t have any desire to leave my house or socialize – which in turn makes me not want to leave ever – until I’m pretty much a crabby hermit.

So… the other night I stayed up nice and late reading the book Living with Intent by Mallika Chopra.

And it hit me – I need to be intentional not only in filling myself with words of wisdom and biblical truths, eating healthy, exercising and doing art but also in getting rest! I need SLEEP! Even if it means going to bed at 9:30pm to be up with my early rising boys by 6am.

No this does not thrill me BUT if I’m more energized and a better mother (less irritable) then I know it will be worth it. It could be the key to a little more joy and peace in my life. Also I’ve read it helps you lose weight which would be a nice bonus too…

In the theme of Chopra’s book I will state my intent: For the next few weeks – starting Sunday (since we will be off visiting family) – I am going to take my sleep life more seriously! I hope to see quick results because it’s going to be a tough road and I just may fall off the bandwagon… wish me luck!

Lol....I remember this time. But I'm blessed with a baby that enjoyed sleep as much as the hubby did. But those for couple months were rough. Gotta love this quote though :)

If I Want To Be, I Have To Do

My new mantra is: If I want to BE, I have to DO.

So often I think, say, or ask myself (and others): What do I do?

I want to be an artist. What do I do?

I want to be a photographer. What do I do?

I want to be a singer/ songwriter. What do I do?

I want to have a cleaner house. What do I do?

I want to be healthy. What do I do?

I want to be active. What do I do?

I want to be a good mom. What do I do?

I want to have friends. What do I do?

I want to sell stuff on Etsy. What do I do?

I want to be a more loving wife. What do I do?

There are tons more I could list but these are some of the main questions applying to me…

I’ve realized something though. The answer is pretty much always DO.

If I want to BE (blank), I have to DO the work – like the Nike slogan, “Just Do It.”

So here are some answers for you (and me):

I want to be an artist – so DO Art – draw, paint, color, cut, create!

I want to be a photographer – so Do it – take pictures, pictures and more pictures – whether you have a nice camera or not! This isn’t even a good picture but it’s a PICTURE! It’s a start!


I want to be a singer/ songwriter – so DO it – write a song about anything – your breakfast, a unibrow – then sing it, practice, write more, sing more!

I want to be cleaner – so DO it – stop laying on the floor with your teddy bear reading that awesome book and wash the dishes, sweep the floor, get rid of clutter, put your cup in the sink, rinse off your plate!


I want to be healthy – DO it – make changes, eat less processed foods, stop when you’re full, drink water!


I want to be active – DO it – go to the gym, go on a walk, a run, yoga, biking, hula hoop, swim in this crazy heat!

I want to be a good mom – DO it – we are good parents but can always improve, read up on it, ask questions, practice patience and practice it more, pray, learn to find joy in the mundane… in a sweet baby smile!


I want to have friends – DO it – be friendly, become part of a community where you can meet people, get involved, volunteer, smile more (from your eyes), be a friend!

I want to sell stuff on Etsy – DO it – make stuff, collect vintage items, do art – then list, list, list and wait (while making more)!

I want to be a more loving spouse – DO it – hug your hubby/ wife when they walk through the door even if you’ve had a bad day and subconsciously blame them (yep, I didn’t greet my man yesterday), do a chore, buy a gift, spend time, hold hands, play a game, laugh!

I want to be a better person – so DO it – make the changes you need to better yourself, push yourself to accomplish things you normally slack on, DO, DO and DO! We can only improve if we DO the work to BE better.

These are all things I need to remind myself too! We need to stop asking What To Do and Just Do!

Let’s say goodbye to that old self and bring on some action and change! If we want to BE, we have to DO!


“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” – Henri Bergson