We all have a “day” or “days” we remember, so vividly. Times of great happiness; marriage, the birth of a child, a great achievement, a joy we want to share with everyone! But then there are the day(s) to bring the opposite, the ones to bring us to our knees, in anguish, heartache. The moments we do not want to share with the world. The day(s) we shatter and we try to glue ourselves back together, alone, seemingly forgotten, hiding our brokenness, purely trying to survive.
Those are the days we hide. The experiences we can’t find the words to share. Confessions to be made. Honesty on the tips of tongues, ready to be revealed, only to be reigned back in. Worst fears confirmed. Grief needing to be poured out. Anger churning inside. Tears ready to pour and pour and pour forth.
Who is here to help me? Who will be willing to forgive? Who will embrace me and who will toss me aside? Who cares about me? Am I the only one?
There is no time frame or date when pain hits. It comes and then you have to deal with it. You find there is little to no vacation time allotted for grief while you are a mother, a father, an employee. You still have to get up on a Tuesday morning after a completely sleepless night. When all the pain on the inside is pouring out from your eyes and you still have diapers to change, children to bathe, meals to make, errands to run, jobs to complete and people to interact with, who are seemingly oblivious to the ache deep inside.
I’m writing this for all the people who feel alone or who would like their story to be recognized by another human who knows what it means to hurt and to heal, for those who deeply ache and then keep fighting anyway.
I’m writing this to every person who has fought through and/ or is currently in the trenches of pain and heartache and no one knows. I see you and I understand. I get it.
My pictures may show a happy easy life but intertwined with the good are also struggles and hurts and aches. For that is how real life is. Real life has pain. Some days are joyful and some days hurt. Pictures and posts are perfect for covering up our deepest wounds. Life can be brutal all across the board.
So do not believe the lie that you are the only one out there struggling or hurting. You do not need to do life alone. Find someone, whether you are the hurter or the hurting. Speak the words. Even if all you say is, “I am falling apart inside, will you please be there.” No details needed, pure honest emotion. Truth needs to be heard. Real healing doesn’t come from the dark, it comes from the light. My heart breaks for every person who thinks they are the only one. You are not alone. You are not alone in your mistakes. You are not alone in your pain. Be honest. Be the real you.
Celebrate Recovery is a great place resource for any person needing a safe place to be truly known and to be surrounded by real people. It covers all variety of Hurts, Habits & Hangups.